Autism, Isabelle and Me

My youngest daughter is eleven years old and had a diagnosis of autism age 8. My husband and I knew there were learning difficulties and suspected autism at age 3 but were always discouraged to take our concerns any further as we were told that she was too young to diagnose anything.

I still remember when the first teacher to ever approach us could see what we could see and listened! Isabelle was in year 1 at school and still had toilet accidents and just seemed so much younger than all her peers with her maturity and her ability.

Her teacher could see her struggles and started to support us and Isabelle. She emailed me at home with support and work that I could support Isabelle with and was able to do pre learning with her. This involved me seeing what the teacher would be teaching the following week and it allowed me to show Isabelle books they may be looking at or starting to introduce topics with Isabelle in an environment she felt more comfortable and safe- home.

Isabelle's main traits we first noticed were a delay in all areas of her development. She didn't walk or talk till she was nearer two years old, and she still wasn't fully toilet trained when she started in reception. I can still remember trying to feed her solid food and she would purse her lips together refusing to let it in. When I handed her finger food, she would hold it in her hand and just wave it about or drop it. there was never any interest or understanding as to what she was meant to do with it.

Looking back, I wish I had not sent her to school till the following year, but you just go with the flow at the time and assume she must go because that is what is expected. I have learnt over the years to go with your gut and what you know is right for your child, not what is expected from other people.

She has always struggled socially and had selective mutism in school where she would struggle to initiate any interactions with her peers. she got her first proper friend in year 4. it was the best thing for Isabelle as she started to look forward to school and was not on her own at play times. For once I didn't feel guilty for sending her to school as I knew she was enjoying herself whilst there with her friend.

Sadly, the primary years had to come to an end and with them not able to fully meet her EHCP needs, I knew we would have problems with secondary School. We failed to get her into a special needs school due to there not being enough spaces or support in our local area and with mainstream meaning Isabelle would be put at risk and her dignity impacted, me and my husband made the decision that I would home educate her.

After our lockdown experience where I had to constantly alter the work, she was given to make it appropriate for Isabelle and relatable, I decided to focus on what she needs to learn, Life skills. I make lots of home activities and resources which I have learnt through my childcare and special needs support background which allows me to make sure Isabelle has fun and learn in a way which suits her. We do lots of kinaesthetic activities which means learning actively rather than sitting at a table with paper.

The best advice I can give with home education is not to feel pressured to follow the curriculum. You know your child, what they enjoy and what they can achieve so go with that. I will be sharing some of my activity and resource ideas which you might find helpful. I also have a Tik Tok and Instagram page which have videos sharing our home ed journey too.

I felt like I had failed Isabelle when I could not get her into a special needs school as I knew she could not access the teachers, children and experiences that would benefit her but now I focus on what I can do to ensure she has a fulfilled learning experience that prepares her the best I can for adulthood.